Gastronomic "Delights"
Up until now, most of my Filipino food experiences have been really delicious...but rather safe. Normal meaty bits of animals, noodly concoctions, rice-cakey sweets (see my Day 5 post for stuff on my Filo birthday feast). And because I'm Asian on the inside, I've loved every juicy bite. But my trainees picked up on my eagernes to immerse myself in Filipino culture, including its weird and wonderful (?) delicacies.
So on Monday, one of my trainees turned up with a steaming tupperware box, filled to the brim with something that smelled of barbecued goodness. I opened up the box, and discovered a bounty of meaty things on skewers. There was a long tube-like thing folded over and over on the skewer until it resembled a concertina. That was barbecued chicken intestines. There were several triangular fatty slivers of meat marinated in the same mix. Pigs ears. And then there were the browned golf ball-sized spheres. Chicken heads. My trainee watched gleefully as I surveyed his gift, wondering what I'd gotten mysef into.
I picked up a chicken intestine and studied it dubiously. Then took a bite. My trainee's grin widened as I chewed carefully. The taste was NOM. The texture though, was like a greasy tyre inner-tube: rubbery and slimy. My stomach churned, but I managed to swallow and even force a smile. I tried to put on a brave face for the pigs ear too. The taste was just as yummy, but the thick layer of gluggy fat surrounding the ear almost caused it to bounce straight back out into the container it came from. My trainee seemed content at that point that I'd tried and liked his culinary efforts, and wandered out of the room. Crissy and I burst into horrified giggles that we'd survived the ordeal and hadn't been forced to sample a chicken head. But then he came back!! Grinning just as widely, he offered to take pictures to record the moment. So I picked up a chicken head, complete with empty eye-sockets and oozy brains, and pretended to take a big hungry bite while he snapped a few shots. The remaining chicken intestines got a couple of happy snaps too. Fortunately, the guy gave up at this point and ambled off again. Saved!! I licked the chicken head and nibbled a bit just to sample it, then gave in to my swirling stomach and stopped eating. I took a couple of the remaining pieces of "meat", wrapped them up in paper and hid them in the bathroom bin so it'd look like we sampled some more!!
Tuesday was balut day. For those who don't know it, balut is a hard boiled fertilised duck egg, complete with foetus inside!! Although the very idea of it creeped me out, I knew that as part of the adventure I had to at least try it. With watching eyes monitoring my every move, I cautiously cracked open the shell to reveal what was lurking inside. I found the yolk first, speared it with my fork, dipped it in vinegar and brought it to my mouth to taste. Not bad. A bit like a hard-boiled egg with what I assumed was a duck-y flavour. Then the white...the bit with the growing baby bird lurking inside. I tried not to look, and pulled out a mouthful-sized portion and placed it in my mouth. It tasted like chicken, which was to be expected as most things do. And then disaster...a tiny baby duck feather worked its way into a gap between my teeth. My usually non-existent gag reflex kicked into gear, and it was all I could do to force the rest of the food down my throat and into my stomach. The photo sequence below tells the story:
The egg comes out. Note the fear in my eyes, badly disguised by the unconvincing smile
Cracking it open nervously
The first bite...yup I'm definitely scared now
OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD
What the fuck was I thinking? Never again...
I've tried the flavours of the Philippines. And now I never have to do it again! I'm definitely made for the meaty parts of the animal rather than the innards and extremities. And as for teensy baby ducks? Things with feathers shouldn't go near my mouth. My adventurous spirit is still alive though. I'm still willing to taste what these guys put in front of me...but I'm pretty well convinced that I'm unlikely to be a fan :p
Videoke
Think of an entire office full of staff crowded into the cafeteria, cheering and clapping and stomping their feet. Think of a giant widescreen TV playing video clips of Asian midgets prancing around in fairy costumes, and lyrics running along the bottom of the screen. Think of a microphone, trembling in the hand of a nervous employee who has entered the office karaoke comp as a competitor for their department.
Yup...that's how I spent my afternoon at work. The Filipinos love their karaoke, and the videoke even more so. We heard some abysmal acts that sounded like cats being strung upside down by their toes. We heard some average acts, tuneless and boring as a plank of wood. But far and away the best act of the afternoon was from OUR department. Gene the ladyboy performs late night acts at a comedy club, and sings and dances on stage when she's not at work. She got up front this afternoon and belted out an amazing rendition of "Alone", complete with perfectly placed high notes, and amazing dance moves. And boy did our team go wild. We banged trays, stomped our feet, yelled at the top of our lungs and drummed on the tables. The whole event was a lot of fun, even if it did remind me of the time I did work experience with the monkeys at taronga zoo.
Speaking of ladyboys, there's been a recent change in the dress code at work with regard to ladyboys. Since Abby's sad departure, ladyboys are no longer required to dress in pants like the other men in the office. HR has made a special exception for them to dress in skirts and dresses too, provided that their dress conforms to the fairly conservative guidelines aready in place for women (no spaghetti straps, no thongs, no boobs threatening to leap out of tops). Seems that the company has decided it wants to uphold its reputation for being a progressive employer that encourages its staff to be themselves at work. And I like that :)
So that's just a portion of the silliness that's happened over the last three days. Work continues to be frustration central, punctuated by brief periods of successful training. I'm getting more and more concerned that my trainees aren't going to be ready to take to the phones in a week and a half. I think they're getting concerned too after getting a taste of systems training today. They're confused, and nervous, and I can't really offer them any honest assurances that training will answer all their questions and provide them with the skills they need to go live. So its heads down, bums up for now, and fingers crossed we make it over the line.
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